Inspiration

Being Imperfectly Perfect

What a journey caregiving is! So, as I began my journey, I thought I would breeze through this stuff.  What an eye-opener it was for me to realize I was not perfect.  When the emotion is attached, it is a whole different ball game. 

Mom would say to me “don’t treat me like one of your clients!” My response was: “you are not my client, because they listen to me and you don’t!” In her eyes I was still that little blonde-haired, pink-bowed girl in my Mary Janes. 

It is hard to remember all the do’s and don’t of caregiving.  Don’t argue, redirect, stay calm and be kind.  What?? Surely, I can do this.  Nope; I broke every rule and action.  All the while hearing, that voice in my head 'this is wrong calm down.' 

Mom liked to push my buttons.  We took her to a restaurant one day as she kept telling us she was not going in with us.  Well, she did. She ordered a sandwich and a skewer of grilled vegetables.  As the disease progressed, mom’s plate would look like a two-year old’s plate, things everywhere, pulled apart, very unappetizing.  Then this 88-year-old woman proceeds to pick up her veggie skewer and twirl it in the air.  She thought it was grand, my husband and I not so much.

By the time we got back in the car I was over the edge…I began shouting and cussing and blaming.  When I was done, she just said, “oh my, such language” What? That was it?

I think about that day often and all the things I should’ve done instead. Did it scar her? No.  Me? Maybe. But in the end, she knew I was there, and I loved her, and she loved me no matter how imperfectly I cared for her.

Strive to be imperfectly perfect.  You will find your way together; you must forgive yourself because your loved one has...

Until Next Time,

Robyn Arab

 

Daughters on Fire, LLC
www.daughtersonfire.com

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